Total Awesomeness

I can't believe that the final 10 seconds of UW-Texas aren't up on Youtube. Come on, people. Those last two plays were great, and the steal-throw into the air while falling out of bounds to kill the clock, was the quintessential Michael Flowers play. Hooray for seniors who man up in big games. Along that line, congrats to Butch, who manned up on the offensive boards and down low, to the tune of 20 plus points and 10 plus boards.

But the reason the Badgers were in this game in the last minutes, playing without Trevon Hughes, is that they finally took care of the ball-- committing only 10 turnovers. And they continued to play excellent defense, holding Texas, a team with at least three future NBA players, below their typical shooting averages, both from beyond the arc and overall. I may be overstating the case, but when UW takes care of the ball, they can play with anybody. They are that good of a defensive team.

First game of the Big Ten season is Wednesday Night at six central, at Michigan. Hughes may still be out with the ankle he sprained last Friday. Again, I predict if they can take care of the ball, they'll win. That's a mantra I'll be repeating throughout the basketball season.

HILLBILLY BOWL (18 below)

Getting swept by the bears is a terrible thing. Over the past few seasons it has happened now twice and the comfortable warm blanket that used to be Favre's domination of said bears, has become damp and full of holes. Holes poked by Charles Tillman's home made shivs and Lovie (hillbilly) Smith's menthol cigarettes.
The bears, or, "chinatown sneakballers" as some have come to know them, are an awful team. They have no weapons and their best player will most certainly be out of the league in a year or two with osteoarthritis in his back. Maybe Favre (hillbilly) just wanted to provide Urlacher (also a hillbilly) with one last prideful moment in a short but prolific career. Even so, it makes no sense to actually lose to these idiots, even if beating us is more important to them than winning the superbowl.
The only significant football played in the whole game was on their opening drive. They ran they ball every time except for two screens and a 3rd and 9 out route to dez clark. we let them eat up the whole 1st quarter, eventually holding them to a field goal- which was big. I thought our defense played well. I thought they kept us in the game long enough to take the lead and then build on it, however due to ridiculous game management (why in the world did we call a timeout at 2:46 with the lead and the bears facing a 4th and 5? then throw three incomplete passes?) and a cold and terrified legend, we made sure Orton (hillbilly #1) and the "7th floor crew" (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ToDv6_uo27Y) got the ball back at the end of the second quarter with enough time to take the lead and some semblance of accomplishment into the locker room at the half.
Our punter, Jon Ryan, was responsible for two blocked punts, a fumbled snap and a nine yard punt. The blocks were not all his fault (in "professional" football how does anyone go unblocked like charles tillman did on their second blocked punt? I'm beginning to think that the packers root for the underdog even when we're playing against it), but I'm so pissed off about getting swept by the bears that I have no problem focusing my resentment on one player. That player will be Canadian hillbilly punter Jon Ryan of Regina Saskatchewahn.
We played like idiots. We let them dictate how the game was going to be played (which wouldn't have been bad because we can run the ball and were running the ball way better than them but then we didn't stick with it and we started shitting on ourselves and not gashing them for 50 yard touchdowns when we had the lead and a chance to demoralize them) and we apparently don't have gloves? Favre and Ryan needed fucking gloves!! Can't we get our hillbillies gloves??!
THEIR HILLBILLIES WERE WEARING GLOVES!!!
It was the difference in the game.

Valpo

The Christmas game. Or more accurately, the game just before Christmas. I've been going to this for years, as I come back to Madison to greet Saint Nick. The Kohl Center is never quieter. The band had a skeleton staff, the student section was half empty, and the Fan Cam in the Arena twice zoomed in on old men sleeping.

Somehow we outlasted Valpo, despite our ridiculously bad free throw shooting and 20 turnovers. It was one of the ugliest games I've ever seen, but finals and the dull crowd could have played a role. Thankfully we won. Some notes:

Our cheerleaders are ugly. My mom kept saying things like "boy, that 3rd girl from the right is awfully chubby" and "they're not very good looking are they?"

For some reason we employ a 26 year old woman as the towel girl under the basket. She was hilariously outfitted in a blouse, a sweater vest, tight black pants and stilettos. The married gal sitting to my left laughed at all my jokes regarding the preposterousness of it all. Three times during the game after men fell in the lane, the ref blew his whistle pointed at the girl and then pointed at the floor. She would hop from her stool and scamper over to the slick area, get down on her knees and wipe the floor. Then she would scamper back. Please note that by scamper I don't mean "Morency scampered for 12 yards through a few defenders" I mean "28 year old with bouncy breasts has to take fast mini-steps with a stride no longer than 6 inches because she is wearing heels on a basketball court and could easily slip in front of 15,000 people and feel awfully embarrassed. Some questions: Do we pay her? Did she ask for that job? Why is she wearing stilettos? (BTW it was a blizzard Saturday, so it's not as though she walked to the stadium in heels, she must have brought them). So I thought she replaced the 10 year old kids who used to hold that job, but they were still there and would come out during stoppages, so I guess she's the Head floor wiper? Anyway it gets weirder, during timeouts she would get up and join the Badgers huddle. I need an explanation, nobody in our section could understand this.

Early in the first half we had a 3 on 2 fast break and the ball was passed to Leuer on the left flank about 18 feet from the basket. He caught it and flew right towards the basket and slammed on the 2 like he was a pro. There is a little extra awesomeness when it is a goofy looking white guy. 

Brian Butch missed a free throw, it was kept alive by Dakota Joe and then Butch rebound slammed it over everybody. It was the most macho thing I've ever seen from him. For some reason the ref under the basket called him for a charge. The crowd booed mercilessly. Bo looked incredulous. During the post game chat on AM1310, Bo goes "I don't know about that play, I'll have to see the tape, but it looked good to me. How'd it look on radio?"

Jason Bohannon needs more minutes. Please play him more often. 

Excellent News

Tennessee will be down two defensive starters for the bowl game.

Fear the Underdog

Conventional wisdom and conference affiliation say the Wisconsin men's basketball team is a favorite on Saturday over Valparaiso, a new member of the Horizon league. But don't get too cocky-- Valpo is 10-1, their best starting record since 1945, and their only loss came at Vanderbilt, and only by nine points. Vandy is undefeated and currently ranked 17th. As the Journal-Sentinel's Mark Stewart notes, Valpo garnered more total rebounds than Vandy in that game, and, in fact, pulled down a colossal 21 offensive boards.

Now, what we have learned so far is that when Wisconsin is not playing against a team with top notch dribble penetrators (Duke, Marquette), they play outstanding defense, especially when it comes to preventing easy baskets. The stats bear this out as well, as Ken Pomeroy continues to have UW rated as the most efficient defensive team in the country, and notes that, so far, UW has only allowed opposing teams to 39% of their two-point shots. That's the sixth best two-point defense in the country.

Worryingly, this doesn't match-up well with Valpo's offensive forte, which is shooting the three-ball. As a team, Valpo has been shot over 42% from outside the arc this season, and they get a ton of their points from outside. (For stat heads, this means Valpo is 8th in the country in percentage of points they get from threes.) Wisco's D against three-point shooting has been quite good, even including the Duke first-half debacle, but not as stellar as their interior defense.

What's also troubling is how Bucky's offensive strength is negated by Valpo's defensive one. The Badgers aren't a great outside shooting team, inside shooting team, or free throw shooting team. Instead, UW is a great offensive rebounding team-- rated 7th nationally in the percentage of its own misses that it gets back. (Of course, this stat is padded by the team's big men missing so many bunnies and having to try again and again, but anyway.) I think that's largely due to Butch and the Hoft being excellent rebounders and being on the floor more this season. Anyhow, this stat bears out in real life. As any person who's watched more than a couple of UW games this season could tell you, Wisconsin gets around its mediocre shooting by hitting the boards hard and getting easy put-backs. Alas, Valpo is an excellent defensive rebounding team so far this season, rated 21st nationally in glass-clearing on defense. And if UW can't get put backs, they may have serious trouble scoring. Uh oh.

So anyway, look out for a tough one. Valpo is a team that rebounds well and shoots well from outside, plus they've been very successful this season. This seems like a match-up that's tailor made to punch UW right in the wiener. It's on the Big Ten Network tomorrow night at 7:30 pm Central.

And even though you may think I'm crazy, I'm starting to worry about the Bears. The Chicago defense, with Nathan Vasher finally back with mended groin at cornerback, looked much improved at Minnesota on Monday. Their offense stinks, yes, and Kyle Orton and Adrian Peterson (the Bears' current starters at QB and RB) are questionable "talents." But the Bears will be playing for pride and to disrupt the Packers' excellent season. And the Packers defensive tackle rotation keeps getting thinner and thinner, with Harrell, Corey Williams and Ryan Pickett all now getting nicked up.

Plus, McCarthy just announced that the Packers were, again, going to do squib kickoffs against the Bears for fear of kicking it to Devin Hester. Listen, Hester is an amazing talent. But if you look at his stats, he's actually a far more dangerous punt returner than kickoff guy. Plus, a squib gives the receiving team excellent field position. Hell, the Bears started every damn drive at the 40 when they beat the Packers in October. And the Bears are adapting to squib kicks, by having back-up returners in front of Hester who are ready to take the squib and run. Plus, the Packers' kickoff coverage units have been playing great. Football Outsiders has that unit rated fourth best in the NFL. So boot it out of bounds on punts, yes. But not on kickoffs. This strategy is a bad idea, and it burned the Packers in the teams' first match-up.

The Pro Bowl

Extra Extra Read All About It. The Packers only got 4 players chosen for the Pro Bowl in America's Pacific Paradise. What I find most revealing about all of this is player reaction. There are certain times when players want to open up to reporters and when reporters seem able to convey the players' words honestly. So as a fan I'm not discouraged when Barnett and Woodson don't make the Pro Bowl (hell, it prolly saves the GBP cash, Mr. Harris' nod cost us $200,000, although gladly spent). Instead I get quotes from Harris affirming that Woodson and Barnett are our best defenders, and that in particular Woodson is the glue of the secondary and is looked up to by the entire unit, including Harris.

The insight gleaned dovetails right into my analysis about the Cowboy game. Jason Garrett, the incredibly able man who almost stole our Paul Chryst, did a great job with formation and motion. He would set up a 3 wide set with TO wide left, a receiver in the slot, and then another receiver on the right side of the formation. In our system, Al Harris takes TO, Woodson shifts in to cover the slot receiver and our 3rd corner (Bush or Walker or Williams) covers the receiver on the right. But Woodson was out. That forced Bush/Walker inside and Walker/Williams/etc. outside right. Garrett recognized this and several times would bring TO in motion from the left and come inside of the slot receiver. This forces Al Harris to now switch to the new outside guy (Hurd/Crayton/Lacky), and Bush to get on TO. This was a bad matchup for us and we were burned quite a few times on crossing routes where our nickel back could not stick with TO. Turns out these matchup problems were magnified by communication and confidence problems without Chucky Heisman. 

So folks, don't be sad about the Pro Bowl snubs, be happy knowing that Dallas had everything go right for them that game including: injuries, officiating and lucky bounces. Let's go forth and take care of business. 

Another point of note. How bad did Mr. Man want to beat the Rams in their dome, with a fully juvenated Steven J? We played 4 quarters. They were unable to do so. This is our Modus Operandi. We end up beating you. If I knew more I'd say it but we're 12-2 and just beat the Rams 33-14 at their place in a game a lesser team (Dallas) could have stumbled on. Color me pleased with their performance. I'm off to listen to Bears talk radio. 

Morgantown to Ann Arbor is like . . .

Seriously, I've been to both towns, and I think there's a reason successful West Virginia coaches are happy to eat million dollar out-clauses in order to skip town for the school of another economically washed-out state, that is, Michigan. Specifically, Morgantown makes Ann Arbor look like Shangri La. Like Bali Ha'i (the island full of hot Polynesian women in "South Pacific"). Like Paradise City. And I'm not saying Ann Arbor is all that great. To be plain, Morgantown is not a nice place. It's ugly and charmless. It's populated by crazy hillbillies/rednecks. The WVU stadium looks like a Travelodge. The town's redeeming features are a monorail that mostly serves as a monument to Federal pork barrel spending (Yea, Robert Byrd!), its proximity to Pittsburgh, and a Chic-Fil-A that's in a foodcourt at a crappy mall.

Now, I'm sure Michigan and Rodriguez will probably be a fine match. He has a solid record and runs an interesting offense and defense, which'll be a change for Michigan. But like Beilein, he's won at relatively unconventional places through unconventional tactics-- the question will be, will his tactics work at a very, very conventional place where he can get highly touted conventional kids? Or will he just change tactics and become more conventional? Anyhow, I'm not too worried about a guy who's built up his fame by winning the crappiest and smallest BCS conference. Also, I have got to pass along his myspace page. The comments (and the unintentional comedy) from jilted WVU fans are priceless.

Also, relating back to Wisconsin football, the Tennessee offensive coordinator, David Cutcliffe, has just accepted the head coaching position at Duke. While I certainly can't condone anyone accepting such a god-awful job, I do hope that this proves to be something of a distraction for Tennessee in their preparation for the bowl game. In fact, Cutcliffe had a press conference announcing himself as the new Dukie head coach last Saturday. At the same time, Doeren, Hankwitz and Chyrst will probably be busy game-planning. And there's talk that Cutcliffe is going to steal several Tennessee assistants, and a report that Tennessee's wide receivers coach has been offered a coordinator position at Baylor. Looks like distraction central over in Knoxville. Given the Badgers' injury problems going into the game (maybe no Hill, no Henry, no Chapman, no Swan, no Langford), they can use all they help they can get.