Imagine if...

So this weekend is the Minnesota-Wisconsin football showdown on both the amateur and professional levels. In both instances, the games occur on the Western side of the Mississippi. In both instances, the home teams are breaking out a shiny new bauble that they are certain will propel them to victory over their hated rivals. In the Gophers' case, it's their brand new (minature) stadium. And maybe those repellent all golden uniforms that show the sweat stains so nicely. In the Queens' case, well, it's the tarnished, dated, but still shiny penny that is Brett Favre (pronounced like Ben Stiller says it in "There's Something About Mary"). Vegas certainly values these new playthings, as it favors the home teams by about the same margin (Vikings by 3.5 and Gophers by 3).

The blunt truth is, that's probably right. A neutral third-party would likely say that the Gophers rely on their passing game (and the crotch-puncher) to win a close one in an emotional game to take back the axe for the first time in several years. That same "reasonable man" would note that the Packers haven't played a complete game this season, can't really run the ball or pass protect, are missing their left tackle, and made Cedric Benson look like a superstar two weeks ago in concluding that the Vikes will likely take this round. Maybe by more than the line.

Knowing this, let's approach this football weekend (that includes Monday night) with an open mind. If the Wisconsin teams lose, really, so what, it's expected. The tide is turning on the Northeastern prairie. The past is prolouge and all that. This is what Minnesota is telling itself. So if they sweep, expect some crowing come Tuesday, but don't be downtrodden. A sweep is what the genius odds-makers are predicting.

For now, instead, think about the other option. Given these shiny new toys that have finally addressed each team's most deep-seeded excuses, imagine if they fail. Oh boy. If the long-sought, on-campus, outdoor, non-Metrodome stadium doesn't lead to axe reclamation. If the HOF-bound, grizzly-bear quarterback doesn't cure all your football team's ills. A reverse sweep. A Minnesota flop of epic proportions. That idea is just so delicious, I could chew on it all day. Of course, it probably won't come to fruition, but it is a tasty treat to imagine while we wait out the next 45 hours. Hoooo, nelly.

I Hate Him

So I tried to be diplomatic about it. I tried to ignore it. I tried to act like I didn't care. Not any more.

Today made it impossible to ignore. Watching him prance around in that awful purple jersey as if he had been doing it his whole career was too much. I wanted to vomit, I wanted to punch him in the face.

Brett is now a Viking. I hate him.

Reason the Vikings (and their fans) Suck #43872

http://sports.yahoo.com/nfl/news?slug=ap-vikings-favreeffect&prov=ap&type=lgns

How is it possible that the Vikings hadn't sold all of their season tickets already? AP isn't enough for 'Queens fans? That franchise should hang its head in shame.

I've noticed nobody has rushed to post in re Captain Narcissus. I was going to, then I reread Mr. Man's post from 7/29 and realized that there was nothing more to add. Nothing has changed except it's August, not November. Even the media can't get excited this time. They seem to be doing their due diligence, but certainly aren't going crazy.

Question: Was there a game of significance (i.e. close playoff game) after the Super Bowls in which Brett didn't throw a pick that changed the course of the game? I can't think of one.

Packer-Vikings Observations

I'm still exhausted after getting home at 1:30 last night, so here are some bleary-eyed observations from last night's triumph over the Vikings---

- The block that Jason Hunter laid on Chad Greenway to seal Blackmon's TD return was just an excellent play. He hustled and got himself in just legal position (his head was just to the front of Greenway's shoulders) then knocked that former Iowa Hawkeye on his behind. Everyone around us was freaking out more about that block than the return itself when they showed the replays. Incidentally, they replayed that return about seven times. I think it's a new record.

- Thank goodness the weather mostly held. I was worried it was going to be a slogging downpour the entire time. There was about ten minutes of light rain in the fourth quarter and that was it.

- I don't know what Greg Bedard over at the Journal-Sentinel is smoking when he claims that the Packers were able to run the ball effectively. The team's rushing average was decent because of Grant's one long run and Rodgers' scrambling. On pretty much every other rushing play, the Packers didn't do squat. Let's look at the numbers-- without Grant's 57 yard run and Rodgers' scrambles, the Packers ran 19 times for 47 yards. That's pathetic. Consider all the goalline stands where the Packers couldn't move the ball more than a yard without sneaking or passing. Consider the Packers' last offensive possession where they couldn't come close to getting a first down rushing the ball. Bedard is deluded-- calling the battle of the lines a "mismatch" in favor of the Packers' offensive line is ludicrous. In short, the Packers' run blocking was poor, though you expected that with the Vikes' defense, few carries for Grant, and Moll starting. The pass blocking was surprisingly decent though, even with Rodgers making quick dump passes on blitzes.

- Really, what turned the game for the Packers were the three big plays-- Blackmon's return, Grant's run, and Jennings' great play on that bomb-- and Childress/Bevell being complete idiots.
Whenever Peterson didn't get the ball, or the Vikes didn't run a playaction pass, we were confused. Jackson passed 35 times and completed 16 of them. Peterson touched the ball 20 times, 19 carries and one pass. He averaged 5.7 yards each time he touched the ball. Those numbers of touches should be reversed, even if you're losing, and even with the Packers were doing a better job on Peterson in the second half. Peterson is a great player. He has got to touch the ball at least 25 times every game. Bevell and Childress occasionally make excellent calls (the fourth down playaction for a touchdown being one), but this stuff is just so basic, it's mindboggling.

- The three big plays were great, but the Packers have to be more consistent offensively. A nice long slow drive at some point late in the third or in the fourth would have iced the game. Maybe when they're able to run with some consistency (when Grant's all the way back and they're playing against worse run defenses), and thus create a little more room for the wideouts to run, they'll be able to have those kinds of drives.

- Rodgers played well, for sure. As far as room for improvement goes, the one thing I want to see in coming weeks is better accuracy on short throws. In order for the West Coast stuff to work well, Rodgers has got to get the ball to guys in stride, so they can immediately cut upfield. He did that some of the time last night. Other times, he made his receivers lunge for the ball, thus forcing them to slow down and get themselves together before running. When he was slightly off target on those throws, those plays generally didn't do much. Just a handful of yards at time. I specifically remember one pass to Driver, one to Jennings out wide, and one to Lee in the flat. All completed, but all awkward catches, and all getting minimal gains.

- Rodgers' deep pass to Jennings was fine, but not great. I thought Driver was more open than Jennings on that play. Rodgers' running was excellent though. He looks like Favre back in '93. Good stuff to see. And that goalline pass to Korey Hall was simply marvelous. A wonderful play and a brilliantly accurate ball, thrown while he was torquing his body to the side, trying to dodge the rush. Encouraging stuff.

Heading North

Yes, the woman, a close friend (Senor Busch), and myself are heading up to Green Bay this afternoon for the Packers' season opener against the Vikings, rendevouzing with the Pops at the gas station where the Packer mini-bus parks. This is surely a game the ViQueens have had circled since Favre retired (and after the Packers whipped them and injured Adrian Peterson last November). After Thompson's refusal to release Favre and let him sign with the 'Queens, and the team's justified filing of tampering charges against the 'Queens after old UW compadres Bevell and Childress kissed his ass out of retirement, the Minnesota brass must have double and triple circled this game.

If you're looking to heighten the foreboding, consider the injury situations at defensive line, a strength going into last season, the shuffling and injuries of the O-line, A-Rodg's very likely jitters, Grant having played one snap all preseason, AJ Hawk and James Jones likely being out, and finally, Favre's face being on the tickets. (Not joking-- I'll have to take a picture of the tickets themselves tomorrow.)

Plus, it's supposed to rain tonight, and the wind is coming straight out of the North from Canada-- the same stupid wind that brought us the subarctic temperatures resulting in Ice Bowl II 8 months ago, which, in my estimation, deprived the Packers of a trip to the Super Bowl.

Anyhow, the signs are pointing against a Packers' victory in this one. But there are reasons for hope. Despite the addition of drunk-driving NFL-sacks leader Jared Allen to their D-line, the Vikings secondary hasn't really changed. They paid big bucks to a safety from the Bengals (?) to run tandem with Darren Sharper, but he's injured. Rodgers will likely not be last season's Favre. But the receivers, even without Jones, are still the receivers, perhaps the deepest group in the league. They should be able to get open and make some plays.

Plus, the 'Queens left tackle, Mt. McKinnie, is suspended. He's a solid pass protector and, with Steve Hutchinson at guard, half of a formidable run-blocking duo. His absence should make Adrian Peterson a bit less effective, at least when running to that side. And KGB, if he's good to go, should be schooling McKinni'e back-up and putting heat on Tavaris Jackson on passing downs.

What will likely decide the game is the performance of the lines. The Packers 3-man run-down DT rotation needs to be able to prevent Hutchinson and Birk from cleaving big holes for Peterson. Then Kampman, Jolly, KGB, Monty, Hunter, Poppinga and Jenkins need to put heat on Jackson when the Packers force passing downs. The reshuffled interior O-line will only need to hold the fort for a few seconds when the Packers throw the ball, as I'm sure McCarthy will emphasize short passing routes. On run downs, the Pack linemen need to cut-block Pat Williams like crazy. If they can get his fat, but surprisingly nimble, behind on the ground, and Grant should find some room to run. You know the 'Queens safeties won't be crowding the box.

Unfortunately, I don't think the Packers will win the majority of these battles. Thus, I agree with the conclusion of the J-S panel, that the Pack will likely lose. If the weather turns messy, I predict the game will get messier for Green Bay-- more holes for Peterson, slippery hands for the Pack's wideouts. It could get ugly. Come the fourth quarter tonight, I fear I'll be shivering in a rain-soaked poncho, staring at a double-digit deficit on the scoreboard, trying to pretend I didn't hear my wife's demands to leave early. Boy, I hope I'm wrong though. At least my friend agreed to drive on the way back from the game--that way, if they do lose, I can try to get some sleep and forget about the debacle.