Sunday, January 21, 2007

The Chicago Bears vs. the United States Saints

Gregg Easterbrook (brother of the bombastic federal judge Frank Easterbrook, aka Judge Eastercreek) has taken to referring to the Saints as the "United States Saints" apparently searching for a new euphemism for "America's Team." This refers to the sympathy everyone either has, or is expected to have, for everyone who was in the shit in Louisiana a year-and-a-half ago. This makes me wonder where all the Saints sympathy was last season, when they sucked hard, going 3-13. Are people only paying attention now because the Saints drafted Reggie Bush, and have an excellent and exciting offense? That is, now that they're good and exciting they're suddenly the team everyone's rooting for? Wouldn't it have been even more inspiring for the people of New Orleans if they had been a good team last I think the answer to that is maybe. Coming back to New Orleans is clearly a big deal, especially when a lot of people thought that the Saints would head for a better market after last season. But if they were a really boring, mediocre team, would anywhere near the same amount of people care? I'm dubious.
That said, anyone with any sense should be rooting for the Saints this afternoon. That's because a Saints Superbowl, with their offense and probably a rejuvenated Joe Horn (he's injured now, but remember his cell phone celebration?), would be awesome to watch. A Bears Superbowl would be terrible. Not only would I, a Packer fan living in the Chiccy-G, have to sit through two more weeks of media fellatio, but the Bears would probably be annihilated in a boring game that would be over before the midpoint of the third quarter. They have one standout player--Brian Urlacher-- and their defense has been only decent since losing their other stud--Tommie Harris. Their offense is mediocre, and led by a quarterback who can't handle pressure and has no scary wide receivers. The Pats, with two weeks to prep, would handle them easily. The Colts would run the score up like mad.
Now it would be funny to see the Bears get smacked on international television, but as a Packer fan, I have to say that their mere presence in the game would be a bit terrifying, because it would make it mathematically possible for them to win the game. Brady could break his coccyx taking a bath, after all. If you think Bears fans are obnoxious now...
A loss against the Saints would be far preferable, because the team would fall apart, and loyal Bear fans would start eating their young, specifically Charles Tillman and Gross Rexman (aka Mex Grossman, according to the elder fool, for reasons having to do with the desirability of the Bears QB position). That's always very amusing to watch. Go U.S. Saints!

1 comment:

U-65 since 1978 said...

Rooting aganist the Bears? Someone is clearly not banging enough hot drunk Bears fans, who are horny with the exigencies of the home team winning the most important games of nation's most popular sport. If the Bears win the Super Bowl I am conviced I can intiate 3-way sex with high-fives as my opening line.

Besides, FUCK Indy. Morthern dome teams are gay.