Wednesday, April 18, 2007

JT Keepin' It Real!

According to this column, Joe Thomas is the only one of the potential seven or eighth "special" draft picks this year (including guys like JaMarcus Russell, Gaines Adams, Calvin Johnson, Adrian Peterson, and LaRon Landry) who will not be attending the draft in New York City come a week from Saturday. Instead, he'll be fishing on Lake Michigan with his father.

That rules in several ways.
First, he's avoiding off the field publicity. Well done, Joe. If you want a happy life, I advise you and your very tall fiance to not become regular features in US Weekly. Look what it's done to Brittney.
Second, he's got enough sense to realize that actually going to the draft is stupid. That is because (a) draftees are apparently required to dress like NBA players (that is, like a cross between a clown and the pimp from "I'm Gonna Git You Sucka"), (b) so many cameras are around ESPN's coverage becomes like a more tightly edited version of Big Brother, (c) the team hats they make you wear once you've been drafted are always ugly, and (d) regardless of what happens, you're going to get booed by Jet fans.
Third, there's about an 80% chance JT will get drafted by the Cardinals, Browns, Lions or Raiders-- three teams that have no modern tradition of even being competitive, and one team that's totally disfunctional. Think about what you'd do. When that moment comes, and you find out that you're really going to spend your entire professional career with one of these organizations, wouldn't it be better to be away from cameras and microphones? You know, so they can't record all the expletives. Seriously, if you were a highly touted draft pick and the Cardinals or Browns drafted you, would you be able to hide your unhappy Kermit-Face?
Fourth, declining to go to NYC and appear on national television in order to go catch salmon with your dad on Lake Michigan is just plain cool.

4 comments:

Joe said...

Agreed on all points, Mr. Man.

Billy Brackets IV said...

of those four shitbag teams, which can you single out as dysfuntional? at best the browns are just unlucky. the cardinals might only be a victim of their racist states karma. but the raiders and the lions are in a dead heat towards the bottom of a well. all are dysfuntional. hopefully JT goes nowhere near them. maybe fishing with his dad is strategic. maybe he knows that those four franchises like their 1st rounders to be goofballing up a $10000 suit and holding up their mom with their younger brothers. marshawn lynch.

Mr.Man said...

Good point-- all are semi-disfunctional. The new Browns have never done anything. Same with the Cardinals in AZ. The Lions haven't been anywhere near the playoffs since the mid-90s. But the Raiders are different in that they've at least been successful in the not so distant past.

I call them disfunctional since they can't get their talented players to actually play (Moss, Porter), Al Davis looks and acts like a mummy with a decaying frontal lobe, and they're on their third head coach in three years. And the coach they just fired for sucking was rehired after Davis fired him many years back for sucking slightly less hard.
Then they go and hire the youngest head coach in the league, that wasn't even a very good college assistant. (People generally believed that USC's offense underperformed the past two seasons.) Hilarious. You couldn't write this stuff.

If the Packer draft Lynch, you should get someone to make you an honorary Lynch/Packer wife-beater.

Sal said...

I saw that Thomas was on Rome is Burning, so now he has "Jungle Karma", if that is worth anything, which I doubt. I can't help feeling like the Pack missed their chance last year. I suppose there is a good possibility that Hawk is going to be that one player on defense that Gansner referred to in a previous post. Yet, I can't help feeling that we are soon to return to the days of Dilweg and Wright on offense. One thing that I know for sure is that we should not waste a first round draft pick on Lynch.

Also, I finally read and answered your question from the previous post, Mr. Man.