Monday, December 24, 2007

HILLBILLY BOWL (18 below)


Getting swept by the bears is a terrible thing. Over the past few seasons it has happened now twice and the comfortable warm blanket that used to be Favre's domination of said bears, has become damp and full of holes. Holes poked by Charles Tillman's home made shivs and Lovie (hillbilly) Smith's menthol cigarettes.
The bears, or, "chinatown sneakballers" as some have come to know them, are an awful team. They have no weapons and their best player will most certainly be out of the league in a year or two with osteoarthritis in his back. Maybe Favre (hillbilly) just wanted to provide Urlacher (also a hillbilly) with one last prideful moment in a short but prolific career. Even so, it makes no sense to actually lose to these idiots, even if beating us is more important to them than winning the superbowl.
The only significant football played in the whole game was on their opening drive. They ran they ball every time except for two screens and a 3rd and 9 out route to dez clark. we let them eat up the whole 1st quarter, eventually holding them to a field goal- which was big. I thought our defense played well. I thought they kept us in the game long enough to take the lead and then build on it, however due to ridiculous game management (why in the world did we call a timeout at 2:46 with the lead and the bears facing a 4th and 5? then throw three incomplete passes?) and a cold and terrified legend, we made sure Orton (hillbilly #1) and the "7th floor crew" (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ToDv6_uo27Y) got the ball back at the end of the second quarter with enough time to take the lead and some semblance of accomplishment into the locker room at the half.
Our punter, Jon Ryan, was responsible for two blocked punts, a fumbled snap and a nine yard punt. The blocks were not all his fault (in "professional" football how does anyone go unblocked like charles tillman did on their second blocked punt? I'm beginning to think that the packers root for the underdog even when we're playing against it), but I'm so pissed off about getting swept by the bears that I have no problem focusing my resentment on one player. That player will be Canadian hillbilly punter Jon Ryan of Regina Saskatchewahn.
We played like idiots. We let them dictate how the game was going to be played (which wouldn't have been bad because we can run the ball and were running the ball way better than them but then we didn't stick with it and we started shitting on ourselves and not gashing them for 50 yard touchdowns when we had the lead and a chance to demoralize them) and we apparently don't have gloves? Favre and Ryan needed fucking gloves!! Can't we get our hillbillies gloves??!
THEIR HILLBILLIES WERE WEARING GLOVES!!!
It was the difference in the game.

1 comment:

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